.Mz Wordsmith.

By: Nefertiti Bartley

2012-02-04T21:50:00.001-05:00

Indeed. Rape is a crime. But I need to get my hands on his mind..cause this brother so eloquent and wise..easy on my eyes..leaves my spirit mesmerized..he...is...fly. :) Just let me get him on the phone..give him directions to my home..lay out the carpet for his throne..and wash his feet...ask him to be my Heru and get deep. And I confess...i wouldnt mind being his Auset...talk about the Kemetic science..and how knowledge is our reliance..and our spiritual defiance against the president..because he is far from heaven sent...but back to my love story....i just wanna admire his beauty and his glory...from every freckle on his face...to the way his lips taste...i desire him to be mine. I want eternity with his mind.

A Love Like This Before

2012-02-01T03:30:00.002-05:00

If he only gave love
The scale's algorithm wouldn't benefit the pressure
The multitude of reasons would be too much for his love letter
If he only gave love
made love
It'd consist of late nights and early mornings
Stillness at the crack of dawn and
The presence of a baby's yawn.
His Lady's yawn.
If he only gave love.
Real love. Brave love.
Love-Love, like this before.
If only.

.Kiana.

Peace of Mind

2012-02-01T01:36:00.002-05:00

“I trust every part of you, cuz all that I… All that you say you do
You love me despite myself, sometimes I fight myself
I just can’t believe that you, would have anything to do
With someone so insecure, someone so immature
Oh you inspire me, to be the higher me
You made my desire pure, you made my desire pure
Just tell me what to say, I can’t find the words to say
Please don’t be mad with me, I have no identity
All that I’ve known is gone, all I was building on..
Oh I wanna understand, the meaning of your embrace
I know now I have to face, the temptations of my past
Please don’t let me disgrace, will my devotion last?
Now that I know the truth, now there is no excuse
Keeping me from your love, what was I thinking of?
Holding me from your love, what was I thinking of?
You are my peace of mind, that old me is left behind….”

— Lauryn Hill

Soldier

2012-01-29T12:57:00.002-05:00

Heartbreak made me Stronger

Made You Stronger

Made Us Soldiers.

I know what it feels like to feel that the world is not enough. Battlegrounds with climaxes, the ever-rising fuk'n Phoenix, and burning embers thriving in a desolate rumble.

When your worries are clenched around your chest and you're stuck in the rubble. Tight rope walking over words like hopeless. And trouble.

When you're stifled yet choking. When a love interest leaves you bodied in a bag and soul broken. Slained by lead butterflies, bag unzipped and left open to be stepped on by cement heels.

You're too withered to boast so you quietly lament with how you feel. Having open conversations with bare walls that understands what you're saying but has yet to confirm or reveal.

So you won't find her. You won't let love in because she'll inevitably become your painful reminder. And you don't want to be reminded.

Well, you're runnin'.

Cause this new dame has the same knife that got you twice done in

All the love that you let out wasn't reciprocated so when all the happiness and fun ends? You're gunnin'.

Be done then.

Say love doesn't live there. Say love is a losing game played by fools who'd never win here.

But don't say humanity is why you've been scared.

I've been there. Suffered quietly for 10 years. When smiles in love were simultaneously taken in exchange for my last tears. But I'm thankful to God I'm past fear.

That last affair - He made me a Soldier. I spent the last 7 years of my life growing colder. Trying to fill an empty space that made me weaker - silence compounded with cold shoulders.

There were things I wasn't allowed to feel. And through spoken word, I finally got a chance to dissolve all these pains I wasn't allowed to heal. A lot of shit on my mind had bottled up and was never revealed. So forever silent, I escaped to a foreign land just so I could catch my breath and deal.

This pen? My shield. And this paper? The tourniquet. It was my God-given right to write and honor it. So when I write? I'm fond of it.

So you can do better.

Wifey could be three times the lady and help you get new. Even if you can't find her, best believe she'll find you.

Just let her.

Http://MzWordsmith.Tumblr.com

2012-01-02T12:20:00.000-05:00

I used to bite my nails as a kid. Did it until I was about 21 years old, when someone from my childhood whom I cared about told me to let them grow out. He's a jerk, we're no longer in sync, but they've been growing ever since.

I never took for granted the little things.

4 Tears

2011-12-26T17:41:00.001-05:00

this morning he dropped a snippet. I made a video.
We go good together dont we lol.

The Internet

2011-12-24T04:49:00.002-05:00

What happened to make you.. Make you start to hate me?
I once was your heart, we were in love
And you were my everything
Sometimes I wonder why… I still try.

Don’t say it’s over.

'Cause we both know no one’s perfect
Baby i feel like this could be worth it, o-oh
'Cause i haven’t felt much myself lately
What i gotta do to get back my baby? o-oh

.Kiana.

The Faithful

2011-12-22T06:08:00.001-05:00

Some people can't even be faithful to God
But think they can be faithful to a woman.

I Miss You

2011-12-08T23:33:00.001-05:00

He is so Beautiful. Such a Beautiful Soul.

I Miss You... Like Every Day
Wanna Be With You... But You're Away
Said I Miss You. Miss You Insane.
If I Got With You.... It Wouldn't Feel The Same

.Kiana.

From New Orleans to LA

2011-12-08T12:54:00.001-05:00

March 18, 2011, 12:54PM

.Kiana.

Once in a Lifetime

2011-12-08T12:43:00.000-05:00

I am the "Once In a LIFEtime" that he let get away. But there are no hard feelings once hearts are mended. The Favorite girl will continue to be just that - his favorite lady. He will still want to hang out with her. He will still look to her for words of encouragement & advice. Hell, he will still call just to talk about nothing. She was the master to all those LITTLE things he took for granted.

JUST A SNEAKY REMINDER OF HOW FUCKING AWESOME HE/THEY/ALL HAD IT!!!

The Weeknd

2011-11-29T21:01:00.002-05:00

I left my girl back home, I dont love her no more
And she'll never fukn know that
These fuk'n eyes that i'm staring at

Let me see that ass
Look at All this cash
And i emptied out my cards too
Now i'm fuk'n leaning on that

Bring your Love baby, I could bring my shame
Bring the drugs baby, I could bring my pain
I got my heart right here
I got my scars right here
Bring the cups baby, I can bring the drank
Bring your body baby, I can bring you Fame
That's my muhfuk'n words too
Just let me muhfuk'n love you

Listen ma, i'll give you all i got
Give me all for this
I need confidence in myself
Listen ma i'll give you all of me
Give me all of it
I need all of it to myself

So tell me you love me.
(Only for tonight, only for tonight)
Even though you dont love me
Just tell me you love me
(I'll give you what I need, i'll give you what I need)
Even though you dont love me

Let me see you dance
I love to watch you dance
Take you down another level
Get you dancing with the Devil
Take a shot of this
But i'm warning you
I'm on that shit that you cant smell baby
So put down your perfume.

Bring your Love baby, I could bring my shame
Bring the drugs baby, I could bring my pain
Oh, I got my heart right here
Oh, I got my scars right here
Bring the cups baby, I could bring the drank
Bring your body baby, I could bring you Fame
And that's my muhfuk'n word too
ay, so let me muhfuk'n love you

Listen ma, i'll give you all i got
Give me all for this
I need confidence in myself
Listen ma, i'll give you all of me
Give me all of it
I need all of it to myself

So tell me you love me.
(Only for tonight, only for tonight)
Even though you dont love me
Oh, Just tell me you love me
(I'll give you what I need, i'll give you what I need)
Even though you dont love me

Cudder Quotes

2011-11-29T02:37:00.001-05:00

"Sometimes you have to forgive and forget. Forgive that they hurt you and forget they exist."

"Knowing someone you love doesn't feel the same way about you. Memories they soon delete."

"Work so hard to not go insane, it's a full time job to not lose my faith."

I know an alien with brown eyes.

2011-11-21T19:35:00.001-05:00

"A red heart that skips beats. A grey mind that never slept and never fell for love..or simply won't admit the slip. Scars cover it's soft skin but don't callous the flesh, that flesh that has touched but never held. That spirit of an immortal wouldn't die.. even in the crash. That alien with brown eyes that never wept, made an alien of me." - Frank Ocean

yellow diamonds in the light.

2011-11-13T21:00:00.001-05:00

"i was singing that song in the terminals and on the plane back from london. loud as fuck. the lyrics of that song are with the functions. i heard it about 99 times in car rides around town. anyhow, trip was ill. even the actual getting ill part.. see, i’d say it’s all a part of this film i’m in…i guess that was the hint that i’m not necessarily directing this one. it’s blessed. the shows that i did play were blessed. all the beautiful humans who showed me love ..i saw you..and i respect you enough to always give my best or nothing. i got plans to try that new york show again within the next week or so. & if you’re coming to the el rey on tuesday i will see you then. ‘we found love in a hoooppeelleesss plaaace’…lol" - Frank Ocean

.Kiana.

Nothing

2011-11-08T06:16:00.001-05:00

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

.Kiana.

The Five Natural Emotions

2011-11-08T06:12:00.001-05:00

Grief is a natural emotion. It's that part of you which allows you to say goodbye when you don't want to say goodbye; to express -- push out -- the sadness within you at the experience of any kind of loss. It could be the loss of a loved one, or the loss of a contact lens.

When you are allowed to express your grief, you get rid of it. Children who are allowed to be sad when they are sad feel very healthy about sadness when they are adults, and therefore usually move through sadness very quickly.

Children who are told, 'there, there, don't cry,' have a hard time crying as adults. After all, they've been told all their life not to do that. So they repress their grief. Grief that is continually repressed becomes chronic depression, a very unnatural emotion.

People have killed because of chronic depression. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

Anger is a natural emotion. it is the tool you have which allows you to say, 'no, thank you.' It does not have to be abusive, and it never has to be damaging to another.

When children are allowed to express their anger, they bring a very healthy attitude about it to their adult years, and therefore usually move through their anger very quickly.

Children who are made to feel that their anger is not okay -- that it is wrong to express it, and in fact, that they shouldn't even experience it -- will have a difficult time appropriately dealing with their anger as adults.

Anger that is continually repressed becomes rage, a very unnatural emotion.

People have killed because of rage. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

Envy is a natural emotion. It is the emotion that makes a five-year-old wish he could reach the doorknob the way his sister can-- or ride that bike. Envy is the natural emotion that makes you want to do it again, try harder, to continue striving until you succeed. It is very healthy to be envious, very natural. When children are allowed to express their envy, they bring a very healthy attitude about it to their adult years, and therefore usually move through their envy very quickly. Children who are made to feel that envy is not okay -- that it is wrong to express it, and, in fact, that they shouldn't even experience it -- will have a difficult time appropriately dealing with their envy as adults.

Envy that is continually repressed becomes jealousy, a very unnatural emotion.

People have been killed because of jealousy. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

Fear is a natural emotion. All babies are born with only two fears: the fear of falling, and the fear of loud noises. All other fears are learned responses, brought to the child by its environment, taught to the child by its parents. The purpose of natural fear is to build in a bit of caution. Caution is a tool that helps keep the body alive. It is an outgrowth of love. Love of Self.

Children who are made to feel that fear is not okay -- that it is wrong to express it, and in fact, that they shouldn't even experience it-- will have a difficult time appropriately dealing with their fear as adults.

Fear that is continually repressed becomes panic, a very unnatural emotion.

People have killed because of panic. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

Love is a natural emotion. When it is allowed to be expressed, and received, by a child, normally and naturally without limitation or condition, inhibition, or embarrassment, it does not require anything more. For the joy of love expressed and received in this way is sufficient unto itself. Yet love which has been conditioned, limited, warped by rules and regulations, rituals and restrictions, controlled, manipulated, and withheld, becomes unnatural.

Children who are made to feel that their natural love is not okay --that it is wrong to express it, and in fact, they shouldn't even experience it-- will have a difficult time appropriately dealing with love as adults.

Love that is continually repressed becomes possessiveness, a very unnatural emotion.

People have been killed because of possessiveness. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

And so it is that the natural emotions, when repressed, produce unnatural reactions and responses. And most natural emotions are repressed in most people. Yet these are your friends. These are your gifts. These are your divine tools, with which to craft your experience.

You are given these tools at birth. They are to help you negotiate your life

New York show is Cancelled.

2011-11-05T22:41:00.001-04:00

"or should i say postponed. i played last night in new orleans, on antibiotics and some other meds. got sick a cpl days before i left los angeles. woke up this morning in new york and could barely speak. called a doctor to my hotel, got a steroid shot. took some more meds. laid in bed allday till soundcheck, got to the venue and could barely sing any of my songs. im really sorry yall. i been workin on this show for months, did everything i could to make it special for yall. i'll be back soon as i'm healthy. thats my word. tickets will be valid for that, or you guys can get refunded. damn. this shit sucks." - Frank Ocean

"And Amsterdam. Sorry folks." - Frank Ocean, Nov. 8th

.Kiana.

Flying Delta

2011-11-04T05:59:00.000-04:00

"heading to new orleans. feel like a camera should be rolling.. catching something. but there's nothing to catch. plane blue interior. eyes heavy, entertaining myself with some music. it's a lot of military on my flight. shout out to my american armed services. i would read, but i'd rather write. a good sleep would take both those activities out… unfortunately, that hasn't been working out too well past few days. i'll sleep round thanksgiving. i'm kidding. i'm fine. im sure love reveals itself to us all somedays, and then hides from us the rest. i pray you'll be more familiar. lights dim and a nigga got some times to share though! good times. house of blues and purples and yellows and greens that smell pretty." - Frank Ocean

.Kiana.

Rolling Stone: Frank Ocean

2011-11-03T23:27:00.002-04:00

This story is from the November 10, 2011 issue of Rolling Stone.

By Jonah Weiner
November 2, 2011 12:35PM
Frank Ocean, Mark Seliger

Frank Ocean's phone buzzes – it's an automated message urging him to set a voicemail password. He frowns, "Who uses voicemail?" In a few ways, the singer-songwriter is emblematic of his generation: At 23, he prefers texting to voicemail, is part of the parent-scaring Odd Future crew and sees genre distinctions as antiquated. His February mixtape, nostalgia, Ultra, jumbles outré, synthy soul with Coldplay and "Hotel California" samples.

In person, Ocean is soft-spoken, quick to share his love of Japanimation classic Dragon Ball Z and dressed unassumingly in a rumpled black army jacket. Despite his age, he says he's an old soul: He owns vintage typewriters and is souping up a 1989 BMW. He got his start writing songs for John Legend and Justin Bieber, and since he landed a surprise hit with his own Eighties-inflected "Novacane," he's worked with Beyoncé, Jay-Z and Kanye.

Ocean describes his solo debut, currently under way, as 'Ye-grade ambitious, stocked with gospel sections and string parts. "I'm trying to keep it real expensive," he says, grinning. What distinguishes Ocean, besides unfussy phrasing and sonic expansiveness, is his imagination: His songs are full of fantastic vignettes involving spaceships, indoor tornadoes and hippie-ish outdoor sex. He's a fan of Stanley Kubrick and Steven Soderbergh. "If I can do in music what they did in movies, tell those kinds of stories? That's what I want to do," he says.

.Kiana.

American Wedding/Novacane

2011-10-29T23:31:00.002-04:00

I took a walk with the palm trees, As the daylights fell
Sangria in the canteen, talking to myself
This tattoo on my left hand is turning purplish-blue
Day dreams of the romance
Day dreams of you.

.Kiana.

Frank Ocean:

2011-10-27T21:13:00.001-04:00

"Nevr run back to what broke you looking for a fix, won't work."

.Kiana.

cool story bro #3

2011-10-22T21:14:00.000-04:00

"i had a shoot for l’uomo vogue the other day..the stylist’s name was rushka, i think that’s how it’s spelled.. she had a thick french accent and kept trying to tell me what was “young and cool”…in my head i’m like “lady, i am young & cool.”…kinda felt like a dick-move to say so i kept it to myself. i appreciated her passion though, & she was actually really good..it’s just, i don’t know..stylists and me don’t really mix, for better or for worse. so i passed out a few l’s, only wore what i wanted & all in all the shots came out good.. my friend/photography virtuoso nabil shot it. an experience for growth i suppose, and for packed bowls.. i hope my hello kitty steamroller makes print." - Frank Ocean

.Kiana.

Quote (Dorie)

2011-10-13T00:44:00.000-04:00

If someone doesn't appreciate your presence...
...offer them your absence.

.Kiana.

KUSH AND CARE? NO? SEEN. (KEROCINE)

2011-10-01T11:59:00.005-04:00

People who Smoke or do ANY type of substance (ab)use inhibit their potential. The thought process falters, and irrational, latent behavior occurs. Then they become dependent on it. One time turns to many times throughout the day and the realization that they are becoming a problem seems non-existent. To them.

Don't say KUSH is harmless because:

1. It impairs your judgement just like any other hallucinogen.
2. The shit stank which means that yo ass is stank.
3. You binge eat soon after which compounds your calorie intake.
4. The effect of weed/smoke inhaled enters your system decreasing the amount of oxygen entering into your bloodstream. Cells in the brain do not reproduce. The brain is the ONLY organelle in the human body that cannot repair itself. Think of the longterm effects of this case.

.Kiana.

Most Definitly

2011-09-28T02:10:00.011-04:00

Sept 27th is the day I made one of many things happen. It has always been a thing of mine to see BLACKSTAR on stage. On this day, I made that happen. I had seen Talib Kweli in 2007, but had never gotten the chance to see Mos Def. To me it appears as if he never books shows in Miami and if he did it was probably around the time I was in Trinidad.

Anyway...

On to the show I went, wearing a soft colored Hijab and blue denim. I stood in the floor section, 2nd tier. But before we get into my boos, we started off with the house DJ for Live Nation. He was aiight but the real veteran to hip hop was JRocc who spun an hour and a half set before introducing BlackStar. the opener was a local hip hop MC named Black Bobby. I think twitter got the jist of what I thought about him when I tweeted he was a second version of Wale. Didn't like his set. I needed to hear him personally because he was too hype and struggling w/the crowd. After he disappeared we waited an hour and a half with DJ JROCC spinning everything that embodied the spirit of hip hop. A little Tribe, a few sample mixes, all the works. I may have been the youngest in the crowd but I felt like I grew up on that music. All thanks to my dad and his love for music spinning on his own DJ set.

I didn't have a wristband so the first tier wasn't in reach but if I was I would have fainted being so close to a man I favor so highly in hip hop. The stage crew sent two men out who set up the mics. Old school mics (white for Kweli, red for Mos) tested it and JRocc announced in BlackStar. First Talib emerged with a fedora w/the brim up, short sleeved white button up shirt and pants. Then from backstage came Mos Def in a long sleeve white shirt, gray slacks, red golf hat, and dark blue coat. They kicked off the show with "Astronomy" and from there my night began to be fulfilled. I was in awe, singing, screaming, putting my fist up when I felt the lyrics justified it....it was RAWRsome.

Then I screamed louder (in my head) when in the middle of talking Mos Def pointed at me and smoothly gave me the ' asalaamu alaikum'. I pointed back at him w/the signature index in the air and returned the Salaams. The crowd didn't catch on but i did. I mean I had been watching him like a hawk the whole time admiring his calm demeanor, his dancing, his singing (he did a lot of that)....the show was amazing. I got Ultra hype when Talib's "Get By" came on, extra loud to Mos Def's "Ummi Says".....two cool headed dudes rockin the stage and to think I was contemplating if I should've went or not. I'm glad I made up my mind. I could have missed one of the greatest men of my pre era.

Then the aftermath....

They did a surprise second set...at one point Mos had some stuff on his mind he wanted to get out about BET and Troy Davis which he spoke through what appeared to be an island accent....another point in the show while performing he got heavy hearted and seemed to hug the Mic whereas Talib gave him a brief hand of comfort...

After the show I was so hype I just had to return the Salaams personally. Yup, I made my way to the back of the building where a black SUV was waiting. I'd been standing there when I was joined later on by about 6 other ppl. Talib was the first to come out, talking to someone. I guess his manager. He was due to spin at Club W after the show. I wasn't planning on going, but he disappeared back inside with a small duffle bag, only to emerge 10 minutes later and walk down to the gate where we were standing. The autographs ensued.

One guy was like "Talib we been waiting 11 years for that man. And that new Reflection Eternal album you put out is hard." Talib said "new? You mean the Reflection Eternal album that came out last year?" Guy said "yea well its new to me." We all laughed. Then one fan handed him a poster for the show and he commented how weird it looked and laughed to assure us he had no approval over that. I got my ticket printout signed. I'm happy about that. (pic uploading later)

After Talib signed us off he took pics with the others, (my phone died and my cam was at the house) Talib waved us goodnight and walked back to his car. We waited...waited....and about 20 mins later mos def came out. He didn't come toward us but headed straight for the black SUV. A guy behind me shouted for him and express his happiness for mos def putting on a great show. Modest as he is, Mos said thank you twice and hopped into the truck. Security wheeled the gate open to allow the SUV to pass and everyone moved to the passenger side of the vehicle to catch a glimpse of Mos Def in the back seat, being driven off. He rolled down the window halfway to where I could only see his eyes and he nodded as he said asalaamu alaikum, our eyes locked for what felt like 10 whole seconds. I don't remember if his car was moving at that time but I know it took me about 3 of those 10 seconds to respond but when I did, his eyes left mine and the window rolled up as he grew farther away from the crowd and myself. Ticket printout still in hand, artists gone, I ran, hijab blowing behind me and stopped to see the SUV at the red light across from the garage I parked in.

Best night of my life.

Black Star's Setlist
"Astronomy" -
"This Means You"
"Definition"
"No Woman, No Cry"
"Children's Story"
"Brown Skin Lady"
"The Blast" -
"K.O.S. (Determination)"
"Hater Players"
"Respiration"
"Thieves in the Night"

Encore
"Supreme, Supreme"
"History"
"Twilite Speedball"
"I'm on One"
"Supermagic"
"Move Somethin'"
"Get By"
"Umi Says"

cool story bro #2

2011-09-24T21:20:00.001-04:00

"last summer in los angeles

this guy pulled a pistol and tried to rob me for a canon 7d i had recently purchased. i told him nah. he jogged away. i could’ve been killed, i don’t even use that camera no more." - Christopher Francis Ocean

.Kiana.

How many times can a person say "Sorry"

2011-09-18T00:56:00.004-04:00

before Sorry means Nothing...?

.Kiana.

OF: F.O.

2011-09-14T01:09:00.001-04:00

He's beautiful
The mirror knows
It shows him so
Shows him no lies
He cries, oh he cries
Broken hearted songs
his love life
He loves life
But still stays 5mins from suicide.

Crooner, just a serenade
He la da dadaaa his heart breaks
Nostalgia.

.Kiana.

Swim Good

2011-09-14T00:53:00.001-04:00

frank ocean [swim good] from christopher francis ocean on Vimeo.

.Kiana.

How

2011-09-08T06:26:00.001-04:00

How is it that he knows just what to say...
When others couldn't say what was Just...

The communication IS love.
IS mute.
A language spoken by the heart
Translated by the tongue.
Those who cannot translate know nothing of what I speak.

But he does.

.Kiana.

FRΔNK

2011-09-04T14:32:00.001-04:00

I Got A Fighter Jet... I Don't Get To Fly It Though.

.KIΔNΔ.

Unrequited Love.

2011-08-29T20:00:00.001-04:00

What else is there to call it?

.Kiana.

Beyonce

2011-08-23T20:06:00.001-04:00

Thank God I found the Good in Goodbye
You turned out to be the
Best Thing I Never Had
And I will always be the
Best Thing You'll Never Have
I Used To Want You So Bad
So Glad I'm Through With That
You turned out to be the
Best Thing I Never Had

Sucks To Be You Right Now.

Lonny Breaux Collection

2011-08-15T09:56:00.002-04:00

March 26th, 2011
Frank Ocean writes:

alrite. alrite. let’s get this out in the open. the only songs that i, myself, frank ocean, have ever released are…’pyrite’, ‘acura integurl’ & of course the songs included on ‘nostalgia, ultra’. all other songs are on the internet as a result of record industry email hacks/leaks that happened some years back. several of these songs i had no hand in writing. i only laid reference vox on em because i was being paid. the rest are incomplete ideas, reference songs that were sent out for placement on other artists. records that were never intended to represent me. notwithstanding, i am a chill bro. as well as a sage/zen master in training. so im not angry or anything. i just had to let it at least be known. enjoy.

.Kiana.

Frank O.

2011-08-12T07:04:00.001-04:00

louiexv asked: Explain your current situation to your five-years-ago self.

Frank Ocean replied:

wow. alrite. i’ll give it a shot…

hey chris,

your name is frank now..it’s a long story. your girlfriend is about to break up with you because of the long distance. it’s ok. & that job you’re working..well, you’re gonna have to work there for another year and some months.. & then you’re gonna get fired. you’re gonna work a couple more jobs after that too. nothing glamorous. kinkos and at&t if you really want the specifics. but you’re never gonna be homeless or starving. don’t worry you won’t fail and have to move back to new orleans either. you are gonna get your heartbroken though. twice. if it helps, the first one is gonna be worse than the second. contrary to how it feels, it won’t kill you. in fact it’s gonna help you write an album. yea, you finally finished an album. people like it man. you’re actually gonna write and record hundreds of songs. they won’t all be good and most ppl won’t think you’re talented at first, but you’re going to master your gifts. you’re going to become a lot stronger and wiser..even a little taller. be patient. i mean, you kind of have no choice. and be good to people. i don’t wanna spoil too much for you, but.. you’re on a plane right now to the east coast to work with kanye west & jay-z. it’s all working out kid. you made it.

http://FrankOcean.tumblr.com
.Kiana.

Swim Good

2011-08-10T23:56:00.000-04:00

Christopher Breaux
Known as Lonny to his friends/fam
Known as Frank Ocean to the World.

This Louisiana native.
He's so Quirky. Weird. Simple. FINE.
Listening to his catalog I feel ounces of hurt, desire, lust, compassion, determination, and achievement.
His writing ability is Beautiful.
He's Beautiful.
His soul is beautiful.
He is, in fact, the crooner of OFWGKTA.

The significance of the panda hat reflects his inner personality: Higher Knowledge and Soul Development. In his visuals he always induces an image of a panda to symbolize his soft nature. I respect his honesty in his work and hope to see him go far. Real far.

http://FrankOcean.Tumblr.Com

.Kiana.

American Wedding

2011-07-28T05:55:00.001-04:00

.Kiana.

We All Try

2011-07-28T05:38:00.002-04:00

I believe Jehovah Jireh
I believe there's heaven, I believe in war
I believe a woman's temple
Gives her the right to choose but baby don't abort
I believe that marriage isn't
Between a man and woman but between love and love
And I believe you when you say that
You've lost all faith
But you must believe in something
something, something
You gotta believe in something
something, something

I still believe in man
A wise one asked me why
Cause I just don't believe we're wicked
I know that we sin but I do believe we try
We all try:
The girls try,
The boys try
Women try,
Men try,
You and I try, try,
We all try

I don't believe in time travel
I don't believe our nation's flag is on the moon
I don't believe our lives are simple
And I don't believe they're short, this is interlude
I don't believe my hands are cleanly
Can't believe that you would let me touch your heart
She didn't believe me when I said that
I lost my faith
You must believe in something
something, something
You gotta believe in something
something, something

I still believe in man
A wise one asked me why
Cause I just don't believe we're wicked
I know that we sin but I do believe we try
We all try:
The girls try,
The boys try
Women try,
Men try,
You and I try, try,
We all try

Try to believe (just try)
I do believe, I
Do believe

.Kiana.

RT @Jose3030

2011-07-27T18:07:00.001-04:00

"...Funny how a little money will catapult certain women into your life."

Those generally are the women you look out for. These women who enter into your life based on material wealth/status/looks/"swag" know absolutely nothing of your history. They weren't with you in the beginning, they met you in the middle. Sometimes 3/4th of the way, to success.

When you use your wealth to attract what you are missing, love, relationship, security, you are not attracting authenticity. You are attracting a mirror of yourself. If you are disguised as wealthy, but your habits say otherwise, surely you attract people who are disguised as well. But the people who know the real you, see straight through the image you want everyone to believe.

.Kiana.

Back to Black

2011-07-23T07:02:00.000-04:00

RIP

.AMY WINEHOUSE.

.Kiana.

Dying For Your Love

2011-07-19T17:52:00.002-04:00

Do you remember...
That October night
The 29th - I almost lost my life
Call myself being a Hero
Trying to guard your heart
No matter how hard I fought
It was over before it started
I thought that we were...

On the same side of the battle, oh
I'm on the front line of disaster now
I'll make sense of... Put it together...
Guess where we at doesn't matter

All I ever did was
Just try to play my part
Try to be the man who would not
Let you get taken advantage of
But you let it go on
And every time I see you with him
I just wanna crack his dome
Tell me, tell me that I'm wrong
Tell me that I'm wrong
I thought that we were...

On the same side of the battle, oh
I'm on the front line of disaster now
I'll make sense of... Put it together...
Guess where we at doesn't matter

.Kiana.

He looked me in my eyes and said:

2011-07-17T10:50:00.004-04:00

"Fuck what you thought you knew."
"Fuck all the childish shit that lil niggas did to you."

"Trust Me."

And that made me think of Will Da Real One when he said this in his Poem:

"Tonight I want you to forget all you thought you knew
about the way a man is suppose to make love to you.
Cause if you aint never had your soul hugged
or your spirit kissed.
then you aint never been made love to.".

I said to myself: All he did was fuck you.

When you couldnt even trust you.

That's all it ever was.

A bitch nigga who only wanted to fuck.

He's such the fuckin' slut.

.Kiana.

OFWGKTA

2011-07-16T03:54:00.003-04:00

I'm in love with Tyler, The Creator

OFWGKTA : Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All

and Frank Ocean! omg LOVE!

Someting about Tyler is just...appealing. He's obviously out for attention but I'm loving how he brought back the Scitzophrenia Wolf Haley/Tyler in the YONKERS video/track - Much like how Slim Shady is to Eminem, but this song, She, I'm loving it! It must be Frank's singing lol, and the Unknown of Tyler being that girl's stalker LOL. I love crazy shit like that but that's just me. I'm into anything un-normal. He's 19, doesnt give a FUCK about the industry or money or fame. he wants OFWGKTA on the map. An atheist, he's not afraid to be himself. I love his honesty. A lot of seekers into this game are trying to get in with gimmicks. This is just a kid who loves the people around him, his skateboarding, and the word Fuck. On twitter he says it just about every tweet lol.

Ethics to REALationships

2011-07-11T03:40:00.002-04:00

I often times sit back and wonder what drives Relationships. What breaks them apart. And what saves them from ultimate destruction. There seems to be a judgment impairment somewhere between the two active people. One shows(In today's society) the male species are, in fact, animals. They'll roam outside of a perfect structure to (as simply as i can put it) fuck whatever is willing to lay down with them and have no qualms about it whatsoever. They are perfectly fine with knowing that they'll be sticking their dirty hands in someone's cookie jar then go right back home and shake hands with their significant other. What's becoming more frightening is that they won't accept it as them being a Heaux. Ho-ing around. FORNICATING. and INFIDELITY. Infidelity not only in their relationship, but their mindset as well.

Immaturity at its best.

You cannot be on your grown man when, the moment your feelings are slighted you go out to fuck a chick who, to you, has no strings attached. who, to you, isn't worth much but a fuck and some McDonalds. who, to you, can't even look at you as a father figure to any daughters you may have a passion for creating. What will you Learn your daughters? Papa was a rolling stone? Ha.

It takes two, to co-mingle. To work things out.

One cannot be 100% faithful to the union, while the other is 0% committed. I know they say opposites attract but lets be honest: SOMEONE is getting hurt here and I know its the one who's faithful to the situation. And someone who claims to love you, will never unapologetically hurt you for their own greed and satisfaction.

L♥Ve

2011-07-09T17:25:00.004-04:00

I've been in Love with Love for so long that I've just stopped looking.
And I realized that the moment I decided to do that
Love found me.
Authentic Love.
I feel so much better that I've Healed.
I wasted so much time on someone who couldn't even see that.
What the hell could I have been thinking?

.Kiana.

Frank Ocean:

2011-07-05T21:21:00.001-04:00

"I never felt like a real musician." - Christopher Francis Ocean

.Kiana.

Scared of Beautiful

2011-07-05T03:46:00.003-04:00

Turn the lamp on
Let me talk to ya
See the light bulb
Does something to ya
Makes it a little harder
to tell a lie, dont it?
Make it difficult
to run and hide, dont it?
Tell the truth to me - Good Truth to me
Come close to me if that's You
I wanna see the details inside those Beautiful Eyes

Myself ain't never talk to me like that before.

I wonder, what on earth are you searching for?
No wonder why
There's no mirrors on these walls no more
You can't tell me why
you're so terrified of Beautiful

Scared of the Good more
than the Evil
Scared of the Light more
than the Dark
Scared of the Truth so much more than the Lies

I'm scared for ya
I'm scared of ya-
Scared of Beautiful

.Kiana.

We'll see.

2011-07-04T18:02:00.004-04:00

He says he wants to spend a day in Beauty.
Spend a day with me.
Joked how he wants me Girly.
I'm open to the occasion.
Let's see what he got in store
cause I don't like fuckery and he swears
I won't be bored.

He knows I like adventure.
Maybe we'll rent jet skis and patrol the beach.
Get ice cream in this summer heat
And when we're done... Repeat.

.Kiana.

BreakEven (Falling to Pieces)

2011-07-01T20:17:00.000-04:00

.Kiana.

.Keep It 100.

2011-07-01T16:26:00.004-04:00

"I told so many Lies that you won't accept the Truth
I hurt you so many times, now your heart is Bulletproof

It's all on the table
Eat up if you're able.

Keep It 100.

Giving her the Real Me
Even if it kills me."

.Kiana.

Marvin's Room

2011-07-01T15:28:00.000-04:00

Honestly I was bored with Drake's version, but my sister called and said for me to check out JoJo's version. glad i did lol. i love it and i've been bumping jojo since her first debut album. I took the initiative to add the Unofficial "Remix" for Drake/Jojo. It's hot. Listen.

"I think i'm addicted to naked pictures and sittin
talking bout bitches that we Almost had
I dont think i'm conscious of making monsters out of the women I sponsor
til it All Goes Bad.
but shit its all good
we threw a party, yea we threw a party
bitches came over - yea we threw a party
i was just calling, cause they were just leaving
talk to me please, dont have much to believe in
I need you right now - are you down to listen to me?
too many drinks have been given to me
i got some women that's living off me
paid for their flights and hotels - i'm ashamed
Bet that you know them - i wont say no names
after a while girl they all seem the same
i've had sex four times this week - i'll explain
having a hard time adjusting to fame
sprite is not mixed up
i been talking crazy girl, i'm lucky that you picked up
lucky that you stayed on
I need someone to put this weight on
Fuck... I'm sorry." - Drake

I'm just saying, I could do better.

We never had "Times" - We had a childhood.
That was years ago.
Let it go.
That is the Reality of the situation.

.Kiana.

Epiphany:

2011-07-01T04:40:00.004-04:00

I came to realize... I really have not a care in the world anymore.
I used to care so much. About everything.
but you didnt. And still don't.
I've been doing what I said I'd never do with you
And that was waste time. Energy. And Happiness.

You're oblivious to the fact that you're an idiot.
And you accept the fact that YOU'RE A FUCKING JERK.
How many people around you have to tell you that before you notice such Reality to make such necessary changes?

I always felt you were Dramatic - always being this FAKE person.
From your forced laughter to your heavy sighs.
I see right through you - always have and always will.
You pretend to have it all together when I see that you're actually falling apart.
You're not ready for Life.
So i'll be walking away a second time.

Sucks to |b|e YOU though.
Oh well.

Hold a Fuck You.

.Kiana.

|B|ehind "Trust Issues"

2011-07-01T00:50:00.003-04:00

This is just a chopped and screwed version of "I'm on One" w/a 16.
Peep the Lyrics (Video/Song at bottom):

"All I care about is Money
And the City that I'm from
I'ma sip until I feel it,
I'ma smoke it 'til it's done
I dont really give a fuck
And my Excuse is that I'm Young
And I'm only getting older
Somebody should've told ya
I'm on One
Fuck it, I'm on One.
I said I'm on One
Fuck it, I'm on One
A strong One...

Verse:
Drizzy-Drake, check me out.
Comin' live from the muhfukn north side
Kick game, run game, run it Real Good
But never ever have my bitches sittin' courtside
same nigga that you knew way back wheeen
You acting like it's somebody you dont knoooow
tell me how the fuck we 'posed to stay frieeends
When you got a bunch of feelings that you don't shoooow.
I could tell
i could tell, I could tell
certain people dont like me no more
New shit don't excite me no more
Guess it didnt really make 'em like me no more (ugh)
You could look me in my eyes and see I ain't myself (nah)
'Cause if yall what I created then I hate myself...
but still
let them girls in
and tell em all leave them cellphones on the table where we'll see em
I'm all day with it man AM to the PM
niggas hatin' i just wish that they would say it when I see em (ugh)

That's that shit that drives me crazy
And It's all that I've been getting lately
And that's probably why I'm scared to put the time in
Women wanna fuck like they're me and I'm them
Looking for some things and I think that I can find them
In you...
In you.
oh oh.. Trust Issues."

.Kiana.

Cycle

2011-06-30T22:45:00.002-04:00

He claims to be Celibate, but his soul he tends to sell a bit - through every open door. Feelings hurt with her so with another chick he whores. The cop-out, The cycle recycles, and in turn it bores the angels that's around him. Such a realization, if he knew, would astound him. But he sleeps. What was considered full blown love from her now retreats.

.Micro-Poetry.

.Kiana.

Reflections & Mirrors

2011-06-30T21:12:00.006-04:00

More or Less a Reflection.
I was taken advantage of.
I laid it all on the table - It was my fault for being so... Easy.
I accepted it for what it was.
It wasn't a "Gift".
But he got what he wanted.
What was Beau, was thus Used.
What was Pure
Was Made Dirty.
Destroyed.
So it stays Unforgiven.
because Trust should never meet disloyalty.
There was no actual means for reciprocity even after the fact.
In two years, I made drastic changes.
Never looked back.
Never Looking Back.
And it is, what it is.
Kiana is, what she is.
He made this.
And he can Manipulate a person only so far.
Appear only when he needs something.
Disappear when he's gotten it and is satisfied.
ReAppear as though nothing ever happened.
And act as though Nothing Was Ever Wrong in the First Place.
But I was wrong in the first place.
For Believing in someone who couldn't even Believe in himself.
It's Okay to be Blind to your faults.
Water Down your mistakes. Repeated Mistakes.
and find Excuses for why you can live carelessly with it.
but don't cause me to turn blind to it either, because I will all too often call them out.
You can't hide from God no matter your faith.
Mistakes that are repeated aren't even mistakes at all. It's a PRACTICE.
And it becomes Ritual to constantly say "I'm sorry"
...but how many times in your life are you willing to apologize for something you KNOWINGLY do?
At one time I thought I could Accept it - No, I thought I too could "brush it off"
But nah. I see it as Reality.
As part dust, part Angel, my spirit is inclined toward Good.
And refuses to be of tainted hearts.
And I never throw on a persona to (hide) what has been done.
I've always been an advocator for Truth.
The bare exposure of a person's soul.
I can give a flying fuck about the physical or material.
Only Heauxs care for that and if that's the basis of any relationship
(Even with self) then the psychological conditioning has already been engraved.
So Truth.
I cannot be anything short of that.
Not even for a Status that only exists when the camera's on.
Because behind all of that, when everyone's dispersed to go home and you're all alone,
You only have your bare self, your money, and your estranged love affairs.
An unstable, unnourishing, lonely life.

But it is what it is.
I accept this as your Reality.

.Kiana.

Different Times

2011-06-29T18:06:00.001-04:00

I told myself one day
To fall on my knees and pray
And never listen to no one if they can't even be true to You
No one should spend precious time living for Material love
His money, Yo' money, No Money...
Can't make me happy
Now it looks a lot clearer outside
'Cause I'm using my eyes.

I closed my eyes and
Kept on pushing
I just stopped looking
And guess who showed up
;)

.Kiana.

Stranger

2011-06-28T00:44:00.000-04:00

Hey vacant broken boy
Nobody knows your name
No one knows your story
No one feels the same

They all feel like strangers
They all feel you've changed
What they once knew they dont recognize
It hard to see the real you inside

No resemblance to the boy we knew
Something's different inside of you
Can we be wrong if we all feel this way?
Is it possible that only you've changed today?

Where's the One we knew
Where did you put him, What did you do?
We cannot find him, we dont have a clue
Vacant broken boy is a stranger - it's true.

.Kiana.

Saadiq

2011-06-25T23:32:00.003-04:00

Hey Y|o|u. You should be here. ;)
And Mr. Raphael Saadiq, oh, you havent aged at all. Still fine.
And you got my boy D'Angelo #YESLAWD a two for One!

.Kiana.

Remembering the Soldier: Da Real One

2011-06-24T19:44:00.001-04:00

How could someone take the Life of a person who looked for Positivity?

.Kiana.

RT @NikkiDaVinci

2011-06-20T04:07:00.001-04:00

"I loved you so much you began to hate it.. my heart became your most desired broken matrix.."

"It is so easy to speak of palpitating hearts and knee deep sex..that's one type of high..but I want the next."

.Kiana.

Wildflower

2011-06-19T23:57:00.007-04:00

"...Who should I be?
Whether I am good or bad,
She'll be as spoken to be
So I pray for the rain
And if I had her today,
I'd still praise her the same..."

How could you aim to be Natural, but surround yourself with Artificial beings?
Does it make you feel higher than them in a way?

You wear your natural beau professing a love for all things simple in normalcy but your love paints their face with color and skin tones lighter than them; Claiming the fairer tone is more attractive, and anything close to onyx is disgusting. Let's not forget your own tone and how that reasoning applies to yourself. Their false eyes of hazel, blues, and grays, when their own have brown reflections to the soul. curves peeking beneath low-cut shirts and low jeans, enough to show it off for you and every other looking with the intention to touch or steal. Sexy is a defeating term when compared to Beautiful. Don't be so quick to accept fantasy as realism - it's not and never will be. And lets not talk about the lace fronts, the fake hair, eyelashes, and perms. destroying the natural elements of God's design but i guess Creation guides through Creation's eyes - why not disregard the maker? He, to you, is now obsolete and what you don't like, you won't conform to. The typical "Christian way" of accepting things, Half-assedly, but in reality, its the non-believers way out. You don't follow "Religion" (Ritual) but you wont follow God either. What you don't agree with - you don't adhere to. In that case, disregard His 10 commandments. Commit sin, kill, steal, fornicate (if you're not already doing that), and live how Creation sees fit. A person's psychological reasoning is determined by his surroundings, which is why so many are a product of their environment. but i ask you (as per a previous post) Where do these means of Morality come from? With no infrastructure, how do You determine what is right and wrong? You don't follow religion, or God's will, so why even code morality? Do you take this from example of others? Where do THEY get their morality from?

Continue to be stuck in your own way of thinking, but you cannot be a Free Thinker when your thoughts are shackled to just WHAT you accept. There's something called diversity and it applies to EVERYthing.

This. Makes me laugh. As far as I know, it ALL goes back to God. so either way you're still within means of what you determine for yourself through HIS WAY OF LIFE. And if you can't follow that because you don't want to be "Labeled" you've already created one for yourself.

But you claim naturalize and normalcy. simplicity.
Miss me with the games. If you're not artificial, you're faux.
Synonymous.

.Kiana.

Excuse Me

2011-06-14T04:06:00.000-04:00

Keep on like you do and I'll always be true because
No (no) No not no (no one) ever made me feel like
I could be dreaming, 'cause you can't be real
And it makes, makes me so happy
Yes it makes, yes it makes me cry
And I know you're looking at me probably thinking why?
but, oh
excuse me if I'm sounding crazy but YOU been the
one i've been hoping and waiting for
I searched all around (searched all around) but theres nobody else (nobody else)in the
WORLD
who love me like you do!

I aint never had a
'nother man that
give me what you give to me
got me in the kitchen fixing dinner
make me wanna cook and clean
And just to see you smiling at me
baby, you dont even have to ask me
Dont kill what could task me if it makes you happy
'cause no (no one) no one (no one) ever made me feel
like I could be Dreaming, 'cause you can't be Real
And it makes, makes me so happy
Yes it makes, yes it makes me CRY
And I know you're looking at me probably thinking, why? but
oh, excuse me if i'm sounding crazy but You been the
one I've been hoping and waiting for
I searched all around (searched all around) but theres nobody else (nobody else) in the
WORLD WORLD WORLD
love me like you do

let me explain why i'm acting this way
You're all that I need
So don't ever change!
Your. Love. Takes. Me.
Higher Higher Higher Higher Higher

.Kiana.

So High

2011-06-10T02:26:00.003-04:00

Feels like we can kiss the sky
Baby we're so High, #yes
Baby we're so High :)

You're so conscious and self-aware.
I'm next to you
I hold your back and you express pure ecstasy
it's more than just the sex to me
cause Mentally, you take me there

;)

Yo, i pretended to be Unaffected
You intended to be Respected
I commend your boldness - you didn't fear being Rejected
so you approached me
My loving had remained intimidating
Glad you did, 'cause once you came
You got much more than anticipated

And it's true:
I've got the mind of a Genius
And every time we kiss we feel the magnetic fields react between us
i think it's something to witness your vulnerability
The definition of a Real Man:
He can Acknowledge how he Feels for Me.

And I'm fascinated with your manhood and exploration
Your transparent language - how you articulate the situation
And i can see it in your stare
In your Air
I love the texture of your hair
Statuesque, Black & Beautiful, like classical architecture, yea.

;)

Now maybe later we can go up to the moon
or sail among the stars before the night is through
and when the morning comes we'll see the sun is not so far
and we can't get much closer to God than where we are.

.Kiana.

Today we buried a Soldier

2011-06-04T19:30:00.000-04:00

Willie Lee Bell Jr
Also Known As
HBO Def Poet Will "Da Real One"

I will never forget the mentor who taught me the importance of:
Passion on a Page.... to the Stage.

He died around Loved Ones
At a place where he gave his Heart.

Martyred Like Malcolm

2011-06-04T19:23:00.001-04:00

http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/Well-Know-Local-Poet-Gunned-Down-Outside-Literary-Cafe-122797704.html

If there was ever a time for me to Remember You
I'd remember you in the moment of your absence
Like now
And though I'd love to hear your voice
I only can hear the sound of confused and scattered hurt amongst the crowd
DRO we are missing you
Listening to your dialect
Trying to find some missing clue to who the hell could come and fuck you over
Turn such a hot venue cold three times over
We ask how
As you project images of projects through the instrumental of consonants and vowels
Leaving a trail of laughter and Rewinds in your growl
And these fuck ass niggas who took your life could never begin to understand how
Much you meant to The Fam on and off the Page
Taller in your stride as you platformed on the stage
You platformed and paved for young poets like me to have a way
To get up here and spit some sick shit in your memory
And if the crowd is hearing me
I want them to know that you did not die that night by fake friends called Frenemies
Cause your spirit shot back multiple times through each line I done put inside this poem
I want every poet to know that this will forever be our home
Will will forever be seated as the King of this throne
And if that's not enough we got his second in command
A youngsta blessed with enough hollow tip scripts to bust and bleed in a nigga hand
So we understand
Not everyone can be on your side
Fuk the fuckers that ran to hide
Cause we Ride
If fuckin do or die
Cause we are Poets
We fear no one but God and everybody know it
Sleep in Poetry
The man who made the Poet in me
Cause "some people's shine is only broken glass in a parking lot"
Some people can act like they love you while others simply "forgot"

How It Ends

2011-05-29T02:45:00.005-04:00

I don't like my time to be wasted.
I rather people be certain about what it is they really want from me.
I lost respect for immaturity.
And a long time ago I said I was done.
There's no point in me staying.
This MANIPULATION is over with.
You can't have your cake AND eat it too - it's one or the other
And frankly, i'm not an option to begin with.

So Why?
What's the point?

Should i even wait on another bullshit excuse?

Nah.
I won't even do that.

I'm done. No more second guessing on little boys.

.Kiana.

Rest In Poetry - Will DaRealOne Bell

2011-05-29T02:19:00.004-04:00

My Heart is heavy right now. Somewhere between shock and disbelief, but i'm crying all at once. I want to thank you for giving me a chance to share my poetry with you. Giving me a place on your stage, and securing another in your heart. You said I treat poetry like a hobby and that I have the potential to do greater things if I was ready for it. You said I was a "Great Writer." You loved my pieces. you called me Lil Bit, and was never short in giving me a hug whenever I stepped into The Literary Cafe. Those things coming from You, especially, that's humbling for me, and I am Honored to have known you for as long as I did. For you Will, I'm stepping outside the box. I'll continue to be like you named me, "humble yet explosive." And when i write i'll keep you in mind as my inspiration - Always. I'll see your face on my blank page when I write. I love you Will Bell. You truly were my blessing. You were most definitely Da Real One. ♥

.Kiana.

He can only hold her...

2011-05-29T00:40:00.005-04:00

He can only hold her for so long
no one's home but the lights are on
she's so vacant
her soul is taken
he thinks 'what's she running from?'
now how can he have her heart
when it got stole?
so he tries to pacify her
'cause what's inside her never dies

Even if she's content in his warmth
she gets pained with urgency
so hurt, she kisses
the man she misses
the man that he hopes to be
now how can he have her heart
when it got stole?
So he tries to pacify her
'cause what's inside her never dies.

oh so he tries to pacify her
but what's inside her never dies.

.Kiana.

Sweetest Voice of Serenade

2011-05-26T23:28:00.002-04:00

And he probably doesn't even know this.

.Kiana.

Little Boys

2011-05-26T22:24:00.004-04:00

What becomes of little boys
Whose dreams are larger
than life has ever shown them they could be?
what becomes of little boys
whose goals are bigger
than anything in their reality?

what happens to young men
disappointed once again
when they find out they're not supposed to grow?
do their lives become a lie?
should they wither up and die?
when they find out they deserve more than they know?

it's not hard to be confused
when you find out you've been used
as a sacrifice for other people's gain
and no matter what they say, it's the same thing everyday
and no one seems concerned about their pain

what becomes of little boys
who make a little too much noise
when their dreams have flown away beyond the clouds
would you rather see them silent?
would you rather see them violent?
cause they never had a reason to be proud?

what becomes of little boys...?

.Kiana.

Earth

2011-05-25T01:27:00.007-04:00

Mocha was the complexion of the tone in my hands
cupped
Offering a request of blessings to pool into small hands that were not my own
May 14th, 2011
waiting to meet eyes with the keeper Anubis
Empty eyes of unsaid words, but extreme patience
A part of me He hated, I knew this
So i continued
waiting on Life to come through unto me to meet Wisdom and Guidance
The arms of Strength
Never had i imagined I would see a bond between mother and child
Had i realized back then
that my blue soul was then black
affecting my emotional wounds.
With no sounds
I'd have started embracing this new outlook on life
This... new beginning
A new attitude.
And as natural as the sun's thick rays, I pray
That Allah grants her the delivery of wisdom on her sunsets
and the blessings of Nur on the days of her sunrise.
A reflection of her mother's faith.
And of the memories in her eyes,
I've learned from past mistakes.
This seven pound
twelve ounce
Beautiful
Baby Girl.

.Kiana.

My cousin says:

2011-05-23T20:37:00.002-04:00

"Stop stressin' that aint u."

Damn right!

People love to stress me
I figured it because they feel that they can test me
But they can't vex me
I remain smooth like marble at the altar
Cool like the water
Cause shit can never phase me
Fuks will never break me.
Cause succumbing to the damage of others just aint me.
Holla.

.Kiana.

Be Still Love

2011-05-23T19:41:00.001-04:00

And if they didn't
Regret love
Forget love
Say they never met love

Like this before

But if they will love
Don't kill love
You just be still love.
Be still love
Be still love
Be still.

Oh, if they only
Owned love
Shown love
Grown love

Like this before.

Oh if they only
Gave love
Saved love
Made love

Like this before

Oh if they didn't
Maintained love
Maintained love
Instead they stained love
Drained love
They pained love
And then they blamed love

.Kiana.

Motivation

2011-05-19T13:41:00.003-04:00

Finally an African-American vocalist who not only looks like me, but shows that she does have natural talent. I always looked for Kelly Rowland in Destiny's Child. While everone was hype about Beyonce, and how beautifully light she was, I was looking at dark skinned Kelly Rowland. She always had a voice, however, being overshadowed heavily by Beyonce's neck swinging, finger-snapping, loud ass bellowing, you never had a chance to hear Kelly REALLY sing. Not only that but the choice of songs she put out didnt say much for her talent.

This is all her (Even if the bckground vocals do sound like she took some direction from Beyonce.) I'm so happy for her coming out on her own and stepping it up. Kudos to you Ms. Rowland. I hope the album does you even more justice.

This song is Sexy & Seductive.
And them THANGS dancing in the video! #yaaaasssssss lol

.Kiana.

So I ask the questions,

2011-05-17T00:07:00.004-04:00

How can you Respect God, but Neglect his commands?

I've noticed a lot of "Everyday People" acclaim to be Spiritual, but not Religious.

That's fine.

But you have Faith. In Something. Even that has a set of Guidelines for your way of Life. And you've learned Morality from Somewhere but ask yourself, Where? Are they from practice? other people? Where did these people learn their way of Life? The Root of the circumference can be found in the Source. And it all leads back to The One.

You believe in The Most High, which, can not be Man. but you dont believe what he passed down through His People's mouths. So you live life as the wind - ever moving, stopping briefly before moving again. But when you speak "Truth" and claim God has shown you/told you that, how do you expect us to believe you? You dont see the connection, do you?

For those who do so, what do the words "spiritual" and religious" mean to you? Do you believe in intelligent creation, and/or the existence of a supreme being (or beings)? Do you believe in an afterlife? What form does that take? Do you believe in a set of universal ethics?

Is the only difference between spiritualism and religion that spiritualism does not necessarily mean subscribing to an organised religion? If so, what practical impact does your faith have on your everyday life?

Then we have those who say "I'm all for God." yet, adhere to none of his teachings. How can you respect God, when you neglect His commandments? is it because you feel guilty that you can never fulfill them? Or do you just "skip" the parts that you dont feel comfortable with because it's not what You want to hear. I love meeting these types of people because they would talk God all day but the minute you ask them about things like Fornication, Intoxication, and everything else "forbidden" by God, they would rather change the subject.

I laugh.

If I am all for God, I'm ALL for God. I dont back step on anything he has Decreed JUST because it doesnt fit into way of thinking. He doesnt ASK you not to do it, he TELLS you not to. And if you feel Guilty about a lot of things, re-evaluate what you are doing with your life.

Let's Discuss.
I'm Open for Intelligent Conversation with Real Intellectuals.

.Kiana.

Forgive Them Father

2011-05-16T22:05:00.001-04:00

Beware the false motives of others
Be careful of those who pretend to be brothers
And you never suppose it's those who are closest to you

(...So true. Underline intentions)

They say all the right things to gain their position
And use your kindness as their ammunition
To shoot you down in the name of Ambition

(Funny how ppl will use you to further themselves smh. Yet its all in "good intention". I want it all in writing. And green.)

It took me a little while to discover
Wolves in sheep coats who pretend to be lovers
Men who lack conscience will even lie to themselves

(YES they will. Wolves in sheep coats. Two-faced beings. SMH.)

A friend once said, and I found to be true
That everyday people, they lie to God too
So what makes you think, that they won't lie to you?

(I don't trust no man's words. "Bring forth Proof and Witnesses.")

.Kiana.

Been a lil methodical lately...

2011-05-16T13:14:00.005-04:00

you know, in my own thoughts?

I finally figured it all out.

I really am better off riding this shit solo. I've always been solo on everything, and the so-called "necessity" of needing another around isn't really a need. It's a momentary want. And it becomes this, because i keep trying to convince myself that I want to see these faces when in reality, seeing these faces aren't in any way ascending me unless they're speaking a language I'm familiar with (Truth). And most of them aren't, unless it's of a greater benefit to them. So, if i don't call, text, speak, or acknowledge you, it's because I've learnt from you. Some could call it me being selfish, but it's more about me leaving behind or shedding off a few unnecessary burdens.

I can be very Unforgiving.

It's never hard for me to walk away from something that's not needed. nor is it hard for me to "forget" about people that, like me, don't make themselves visible to the company of others. And one thing i do not like is when people show up only when they need something. Asking me for favors, trying to game like they just wanted to hear my voice. I know better. So do not step to me on some 'i just wanted to talk to you, how was your day?' if i haven't talked to you in weeks, then try to act new when i answer with "what do you want"? - I know better.

Everyone wants something, but no one wants to give.

I've done work for people who, 'til this day, have yet to pay me. Some want me to work, and just expect me Not to expect payment. "Help me Help You" only works when theres an equal exchange in the same time frame. I'm very lenient in this department. sometimes I'll do the work and give you a Net 15 to get your money up. After that, there's little waiting around. 2weeks is enough time to receive a check and my work isn't even that costly compared to others'. Think About It.

Sit Down, I'm not Done Yet.

This in no way sounds like a Rant, but a clarification. And really, it's about to be a Declaration of Independence (not that i wasn't independent before.) But people (You) need to know this. I'm not 14. (We) are no longer kids. I always had a higher state of mind so don't think you can belittle me by saying "I want you where I'm at" because as far as I've seen, you're a few back steps from where I am. You can only pretend to know where you are for so long - I'm definite in my location.

Growth is a wonderful thing.

A Grown Man/Woman with a Young Mind isn't grown at all. Sometimes i say "Some Men will forever be Boys." or "She's a naive Girl in a Woman's body" because they have yet to get that sense of Responsibility. And I'm not just talking about the responsibility of going to work everyday and paying all your bills on time, I'm directly talking about the responsibility to effectively handle a REALationship, versus a RELATIONShip. If you just duckin' and fukn, you cant even call it a relationship, it's just plain ol' Fornicating. It is never understandable to me for men to have an 80% percent woman giving 100% at your side, but unjustifiably fukn a 20% heaux on the side. And these heauxs can be your "friends with benefits." Now that makes me ask the questions, Were they heauxs before or after you met them? and what does that make you?

"Show me who your Friends are, and I'll tell you who You Are."

Now Write About That.

.Kiana.

The Chosen One

2011-05-15T14:04:00.001-04:00

Muhammad Ya Rasulillah
You were so Caring and Kind
Your soul was Full of Light
You are The Best of Mankind
Muhammad Khaira Khalqillah
Sallu 'ala Rasulillah - Habib Al Mustafa
Peace Be Upon The Messenger

The Chosen One.

.Kiana.

The Bullshit

2011-05-14T11:18:00.001-04:00

Hold a Fuck You.

Don't expect Goodness, when the Situation is Worthless.

Obviously, this always been a mind game.
But I'm mindful, so don't sleep on me.

.Kiana.

Mr Emotional

2011-05-11T17:01:00.002-04:00

I think you're sweet
I think you're nice
And you can be a Jerk, so 50/50
But anger is not an emotion I'd like to entertain
So I refrain from accepting you
I can't...
It'd be unlike me to like thee
The smart mouth that'd run with your infant nature
The pockets unfilled with infant paper
The baked dark skin tone of your makeup
It'd be too catastrophic for me to fake what
Will never be reality
We are but human
We, aren't, in actuality
But emotional hostage taking creates instability
Mr. Emotional
this is my decree:
No You
No Me
No Union
No We.

Dear Tomorrow

2011-05-11T03:19:00.003-04:00

I'm in such a writing mood.

Dear Tomorrow,
I lived for You Yesterday.
Missed you Today.
Called you Last Week.
But it's been Months.
Probably Years since we last spoke.
But I know you're on your way.
You never could wait for me to catch up.
And by the time my hand reached to grasp yours, you slipped away yet again.
Just like before.
When we were New.

So Dear Tomorrow.
If you happen to come by again.
Just know i'm ready.
I'm waiting.

I'm Here.

Dont hesitate to smile this time.
Your rays are golden, your breath cool, and footsteps are plenty.
I plan on catching you. Even when you're sleeping.
I often watch you as you are anyway.
I think its something to witness your vulnerability.

All Love.

.Kiana.

Untitled

2011-05-11T03:09:00.001-04:00

Found my layers cementing all around
Fell in with an uncommon profound
It's easier now for me to forget my ups and downs
No longer susceptible to company
Removed illusions sleeping under me
Took a walk, I've taught the former me
Unwilling to accept such vague reality
The chains of this and all the people holding me
Wanted things derived, aligned with their own sanity
Time and time, unkind this ill humanity
Caught up in emotion
BiPolar in devotion
Stay or Go, Swim or Drown
I'm cut off from the Ocean
My entity's suggestion
Diffuse the pain it leaves me much aggression
Explained in situations
Exploit ignorance as excuse for Love's acceptance
Crucify the part of me that hates the way she feels
Even if that means what I perceive's not even real
Such a paradox
Such a Goddess trapped inside a box
Heart-shaped coffin made of his own thoughts
Can you tell me where's love inside insanity?
Tell me now
Tell me how I've succumb to my anxiety?
Poisoned by the words left im drinking
Taking in this fantasy, no one left who's thinking
Tryna acknowledge who here has really won
Both of them exhausted, turning tables on their suns
Neither of them surrender
Casualties without a purpose
Eve felt scrutinized and victimized
Naked under his skin
Vulnerable to illusion, entrapped within her sins
She thinks her suicide is adjacent to Adam's last win...
(TBC)

Playing Possum

2011-05-11T02:52:00.002-04:00

Come Back from The Dead
You left my..
My Heart here
Say what you will and won't forget
Express Disappointment
Speak your Regrets, yeah

Oh baby call out my name
I'll be where you are
I'll be very still
Step down to my heart..
...
But don't speak too softly
I want to hear everything
So just have some leniency
If you gotta go then
I'd rather you not walk away from me
I'll be the one to stand
I'll have the last goodbye
Whatever it takes
Just make me smile again
Oh baby call on my name
...

Zeitschlag

2011-04-29T00:55:00.003-04:00

Jonas Burgert.
One of my many favorite Visual Artists.

2010 Art Basel Miami Beach.

Letting Go

2011-04-12T01:02:00.005-04:00

Sometimes i feel like the woooorld
Sometimes i feel alone like, the woooorld, is against me

And everything that i've done before
I swear we used to be so pure
But we Cant be in Love no more
Cause I dont wanna fight this.. War
But when I put down my gun
I turn around and pick up one
This uzi weighs a ton..
But I think I'm.. Done.

Things are getting out of Control
Feel like I'm running out of Soul
You are getting heavy to hold
Think I'll be letting you go.

(Think I'll Be Letting! You! GoOoOoOoo!

Things are getting! Getting Out of Control! oh!
Said it FeeeeLS like, like i'm running Out of SOUL!
You're getting Heavy to HOLD.
Think i'll be!

Letting! You! GOooOooOoooOoOoo-oo!
Letting YOU Go...)

- Lupe Fiasco ft Sarah Green

@TheRealTank

2011-04-10T21:42:00.002-04:00

This is one country song i loved, love, and am loving... I used to listen to Will Downing's version when i first heard it but now my boy Tank came in to make me love it even more. This is the saddest truth in a song i've ever heard and he serves it justice. Ever sat back and watched someone you loved, not love you? If ever you've been there, then you know what this song feels like.

"I will lay down my heart and feel the power, if you won't.
No, you won't.
Cause I cant make you love me...
If you don't."

.Kiana.

Strangers

2011-04-03T02:07:00.002-04:00

Ibn Umar relates that Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) placed his hand on his shoulder and said:

“Be in the world as if you are a stranger or a wayfarer.”

Thereafter, Ibn Umar used to say: “When the night comes, do not wait for the day, and when the day comes, do not wait for the night. Take from your health for your sickness, and take from your life for your death.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (7/170)

.Kiana.

Sun Set

2011-04-02T10:30:00.001-04:00

When a boy becomes a man
This, I pray, one day you'll understand
Under the guidance of your father's hands
One day you'll understand

You'll under-stand in stature
Sun cradled at the throne
Your evolution captured
By time, hands, smiles, sounds
And a regal form will bless you with whispers that rumbles like drums in foreign lands
Soft copper knowledge like linen in the sand
I Am
You are all I Am
Young Man...

Grand Central Lauryn Hill

2011-03-21T18:14:00.003-04:00

Last night was the shit.

I was hype when I awoke March 20th, 2011 at 530am and was already on my way to work for 7am. All I had to do was survive the 8hrs and go home to get dressed for the last minute gig Lauryn had in Miami (you know she loves us - she lived in Hialeah for a lil minute) 3PM was coming in 1 1/2 hours when I got the call from my relief "I'm not gonna be able to make it."

what. the. FUCK.

Yall know I was HELLA mad. I already knew the supervisor wasn't coming in. He doesn't work weekends and I had already relieved the employee before me - he damn sure wasn't coming back and the company had not hired anyone as a rover, so YES I was stuck doing a double. Bad enough I was already working on 1hr of sleep but! I toughed it out with music on my blackberry. Even had a few phone calls during the shift. It was the ONE night I planned to do something, and the ass didn't want to show up. THEN had the nerve to show up to work an hour before I got off to return an access card he took home the day before. What got me mad was he called in, but showed up with his girlfriend all dressed up for the beach as I was getting off claiming he had car trouble. Really dude? Really?? Wow. *sips water* Ok.

ANYWAY just as he left, my relief (the employee who I relieved at 7am) walks in for HIS shift. An hour early. I was already mad. Grand Central said L was scheduled to go on stage at 10, doors opened at 830, shows actual start time is 900. I'm sure I missed something at this point so I'm rushing home but I don't get home until 11. Moms like, isn't it over by now? I'm like nooooo it better not be! But I'm like fuck it, lemme go see lol.

Hop in the shower
Dressed casual.
And I'm back on the road.

I kid you not, I get there in 12 minutes. I live 30mins away. The show hasn't even started yet! Just the house DJ is jamming his music. Lauryn didn't get on stage until 12am, I didn't care, I was jammin to the DJ at this point. After about 15 mins of spin records, the band came on stage. And 5mins after that Lauryn Hill!!!!

Have I Lost My Passion?

2011-03-09T20:04:00.001-05:00

I ask this quietly as the Love only gets Deeper.
I'd drown a thousand depths for this Redeemer.
He'd redeem her, this Isis
That midnight pleaser, my crisis.
Amaretto dipped, he's Black
He's Beautiful.
Statuesque inexcusable, he is my Anubis
Rubix cubed in complexity of burnt umber
As he slept next to me in quiet slumber.
His presence has my dreams outnumbered,
But we will never fuk'n quit cause this shit was never built on a lie
Pregnant seas can never hide
Verbal calligraphy were entwined as wedding rings
Who the fuk needs an alter, rabbi, imam, or priest
This shit is Greater
And if God made it happen, its the Plan of the Creator
So fuk who don't like it, cause we will keep fuk'n rising
Like the Phoenix without the ashes
Like the ashes without the wood
It was made
We were unified
His form was sun dried and baked
With the fire of his Gemini
His Cancer was my Pisces
And in another life time without me...
He struggled.

Kiana

Happy Birthday to ME!

2011-03-02T11:41:00.002-05:00

:) Got to work today but i'm planning something for Tomorrow and Friday. Self-Pampering. Fuk who aint with me, who "forgot", who didnt know.... lol. Dont trip - you werent meant to be here lol. Not only that, but Lauryn Hill on the 19th. What more could I ask for?

I also want to note that Today my great grandmother would have been 90. My first birthday without her or her phone call. Love you Ma for the 20+ years on this earth you shared with me.

.Kiana.

DayOne Challenge

2011-02-17T22:26:00.000-05:00

It started today, Thursday February 17th at 10:30pm (eastern.) This lasts until Tuesday, the 22nd at Noon.

It's a Technological Fast. Okay not REALLY technological, more like social networking Fast. I've been challenged by the homie Dezyne to put a 5 day break on social networking sites like Myspace (lol thats hella easy), Facebook (Dont miss it much), and Twitter (OMG he tryna kill me lol.) but I can do it - its been done before. I'm always up for a challenge!

I believe it'll give me room to add growth to a lot of things I've set aside.

This is quite the interesting concept. I may even join him on that other fast he was talking about. No tv, cell, internet, books, or magazines - Just empty space for thought and reflection. It actually sounds wonderful.

#Team5Day

.Kiana.

Yo. I got my Swagga back!

2011-02-06T20:18:00.004-05:00

And by swagga, I mean him. yes. HIM.

ayyyyyyyy! We're Fine. FLY. Hard Pressed Movements. Forces.

He makes me smile.. Dont know why he ever made me frown in the first place.
BUT...
...honest ...ly....
Aint nobody - yes. AINT. NOBODY. got our type of connection.
Trust Allah when i say it.

.Kiana.

Mystic - Forever and A Day

2010-12-20T04:42:00.002-05:00

things a sister would say...

.Kiana.

:(

2010-12-15T23:14:00.005-05:00

The depression is back. It gets that worse...I feel like Quitting. Terminating. And no matter my purpose here, it doesnt seem a priority. Everything could stop in the next few hours.

I can only hope i'll write myself out of it.

You need me.

At least...

I think you do.

.Kiana.

My chart...

2010-12-13T01:06:00.003-05:00

Ascendent - Leo
Sun - 11 Pis
Moon - 2 Sag
Mercury - 29 Pis
Venus - 22 Pis
Mars - 16 Sag
Jupiter - 2 Pis
Saturn - 9 Sag
Uranus - 22 Sag
Neptune- 5 Cap
Pluto - 7 Sco
Tru Node - 1 Tau
Chiron - 9 Gem

.Kiana.

Cataclysm

2010-12-13T00:03:00.002-05:00

Two people unequal
we were derived of four different sunsets
we were
upset at the other sides
you - selfish
me - vile
but still we understood each others sunrise like we were competing for hierarchy
i asked for you - a union
with no rings, the outsiders sought confusion with lead butterflies
And we battled for this thing we called L_ve
as we should
And when I dropped, you stood
you defended as I heaved
I died but you breathed
and blew life into the seed
cause you weren't done yet
You needed me to believe in us because we hadn't won yet
so i bit
but that was the pressure point because we knew we'd sometimes quit
and I - (wo)man down
I got hit
but you? you were the shit
because you remained a statuesque of onyx
unrelenting
chiseled in the form of a god and
we fought
but couldn't explain why we were caught up in the rapture of eachother's crossfire
crosshairs and satire
We were murdered
but remained immune to taking our last breath because we knew
That if we did, in death, our war will cease to exist
cause its an affair of battered emotions that neither of us will submit
and you? You can't commit
and me? I withdrew
"All I ever wanted was to be at Peace with you
But if I gotta settle for a piece of you
Then I gotta say 'Peace' to you."*
I sought simplicity
You fought my ridicule
And for that I thank you
because wars are never fought without casualties,
our cataclysm still exists with me, its
a shame this can't get fixed in reality because I've missed you
in your many forms I've dissed you
and you held on to every line that pulsates, that ended with heartbreak
As the phantom that secured my insecurities
and the thief that stole from me
My heart seized in captivity
and I suffered as a pisces
dying a thousand deaths repeatedly for a safety that never arrived
I cried, I breathed, I died
You lied, You lied, you LIED
and I continued, I fought, and we still battle
fighting the same war only this time against one another
and you'll never let me lose
dodging silver bullets because I'm greater than my last move.
the last move never settles for defeat
the defeat is unfathomable so i reached
and climbed
And you helped me up at your side
and we?
We conquered the expectations
We drew in breath, we exhaled
We admired our aspirations
And ex-ed our communication
we aimed, we winked, both smiles
paralleled to our styles
cocked back the hammers, our fingers on the trigger
both aimed at each other
cause in the name of L_ve we figured
We'd survive.

.Kiana.

*Wale - The War

Sun & Earth

2010-12-08T18:41:00.002-05:00

Dear Future Husband,

I'll sit back and watch my Sun rise.
Kick back and know my Sun set.
Of your Guidance I am sure he's of Strength
Of my Understanding, he'll have Balance
And he'll be the protector of our Earth when she arrives.

All Love from Within...

.Kiana.

..zZzZzzZZ

2010-12-08T13:20:00.001-05:00

|B|edtime Stories about Me are the |B|est. ^_~

.Kiana.